Choosing the Best Treatment Plan for Porn Addiction

Porn addiction is something that one shouldn’t take lightly. This can be one of the easiest ways to ruin your relationships, damage your career and your reputation. If you are addicted to porn or your spouse is addicted to porn, there are several things that can be done. Many different programs are available to porn addicts and this article will discuss different kinds of addiction and which treatment may be best.

Slight Addiction – This is the kind of addiction in which the person has been looking at porn for some time, but it does not control their actions or thoughts. They don’t miss appointments or realize that they’ve been looking at porn for hours without knowing it. This is mainly for those who feel that porn can damage their relationship or who are starting to notice that their addiction is becoming worse. The best kind of treatment for this may be a self-treatment plan, an online support group, or group counseling. Online groups are great because you can maintain a veil of anonymity. No one has to know who you are and you can still find wonderful supportive people.

Moderate Addiction – This addiction may be much worse than a slight addiction, and it may have already started to damage relationships. You may find that you are caught up in looking at porn and you will realize hours later that you have been looking at porn for hours. You may miss appointments, pull porn up on the computer at work and get irritated when you are unable to look at porn for one reason or another. Good treatment for this would be a self treatment plan, group counseling (online or offline) and treatment with a licensed therapist that specializes in porn addiction. Group counseling allows you to find a support group of people that have gone through this before or who are currently dealing with the same type of problems that you are.

Severe Addiction – With this addiction, relationships have probably already been destroyed. You may have been punished at work for pulling porn up on the computer or possibly fired. You may have ruined the relationship with your partner or your family. You cannot seem to get away from porn and it does seem as if it’s controlling you. You feel ashamed, embarrassed or upset at the way that you are being controlled by pictures or videos. The best kind of treatment for a severe porn addiction is one on one counseling with a therapist. They will be able to help you determine what issues are creating this porn addiction and how to deal with them. A support group, such as an online support group or a group therapy circle may also help you to realize that you’re not the only one who is dealing with something like this. There are many others going through the same thing and dealing with the same porn addiction issues as you.

Getting help for porn addiction doesn’t have to be a difficult process. By being aware of the severity of your addiction, you can seek the proper treatment and get the necessary help you need to recover. So, seek help soon for your addiction and take back your life. You deserve it!

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Choosing the Best Treatment Plan for Porn Addiction

Escalating Porn Addiction and Criminal Thoughts

Pre-Internet, young addicts would steal porn magazines from the top shelves of newsagents. Post-Internet – according to my 2 years of research into porn addiction – this is tame compared to what goes through their heads to do to act out their escalating pornography addictions. Many are becoming deeply scared of their own minds and addictions. One man wrote “I have deep dark desires that I wish to fulfil which are even stronger than my porn addiction.” Another man wrote “I am severely depressed. I am now having horrible thoughts of hurting myself and my girlfriend and doing horrible violent things in general. I am 24.”

Depending upon what they have been exposed to in their journey through the bowels of Internet pornography determines what they soon begin feeling compelled to do next when they have become desensitized with purely legal acting out behaviors. Many addicts at this stage fear their next bender could tip them over the edge into doing illegal things as they begin to find it harder and harder to disassociate from the porn world.

It starts with relatively “mild” fears such as a 19 year old who wrote “I’m frightened I’ll become a pervert when I grow up. I’ve been doing porn since I was 14” to older addicts writing things such as “I now want to see women urinating on toilets after seeing a lot of urine porn and am scared I will act out by setting up a camera in a women’s toilet”. Another (white) man wrote “It’s gotten to the point where I now fantasise that I am a white woman being raped by multiple black men as well as being one of the rapists too.”

One female porn addict wrote “It’s escalating now to an obsession with putting myself in dangerous situations so I can be raped”. Another addict who had a history of physical and sexual abuse and being degraded as a child had the desire to be “killed at the hands of a lover”.

Another 18 year old man wrote “Only drowning and suffocating porn can satisfy me now. I fear I will become a serial killer and I doubt my morality.” Equally as disturbing were the words of a young student who wrote “I’ve got to the point now where bondage videos are not violent enough to satisfy me. I sit in class and think of strangling the woman in front of me.” This man was understandably banned off the forum he wrote this on but my question is “what happened to him?”… Did he ever act out his thoughts?

Another tormented porn addict wrote “Until I saw bestiality porn, I had never wanted to be sexual with an animal. I loved animals and was brought up with them. Now I am acting out with my own dogs and want to put them up for adoption so I can stop this sexual abuse. I want to be able to view my dogs as pets – nothing more. They deserve so much better than this. I’m at breaking point.”

Other escalating pornography addicts become obsessed with being in risky situations like exposing themselves and/ or masturbating in public places. Some addicts will masturbate in back rows of theatres or picture houses or in their car when they stop at the lights. It gives them the arousal they need to be able to reach a new peak that ordinary virtual porn can no longer give them as well as giving them adrenaline hits their addiction needs. One man was being driven by his addiction to expose himself to 10-15 year olds. He wrote “I already do this with women although I pretend I don’t know they can see me. I cannot believe how damaged I am. It happens a lot when I am under pressure or stressed. If I don’t “do the deed” I get very agitated, angry and frustrated. When I do it I get relief but then shame and anger set in and I just want to lock myself away.”

Another addict wrote “I’m so worried about going to jail over all my sexual urges and ideas of the things I want to do. I’m still in school and sometimes masturbate on the bus when the urge comes on me and I can’t control it. I’m scared it will get me into some kind of legal trouble. I then watch porn all night long.”

Other addicts – after watching incest porn – have tormenting urges around family members. One 29 year old addict wrote after watching “mother and son” porn… “In my dreams now, my mother is breast feeding me. I’ve become fascinated with her breasts and am scared I’m going to act out on it and touch or grab her breasts. I also want to take photos and videos of her breasts.” Another addict wrote “I watch mother and son porn, daughter and father porn and sister and brother porn. I escalated to this and am now having intrusive incestual thoughts about my mother and other family members. I am scared I am going to act out on them. I tell myself this is the last time I am going to watch porn due to where it is taking me but I always fall back into it again – the porn. I am scared. When I was younger I was exposed to porn and re-enacted what I saw with another boy and why I am scared now.”

Another terrified addict wrote “Since being exposed to brother/ sister rape porn I have had thoughts about raping my sister. I am heading down a very dangerous and horrible road. I don’t want to be a rapist or a murderer and I certainly don’t want to do this with my sister. Now I feel incredibly awkward around her and have no emotional attachment to her anymore. I fear in the future though that porn will not be enough for me and I may actually rape someone. I really don’t want to be a monster yet I fear that may happen in the future. I’m now, as a result, having frequent suicidal thoughts.”

More disturbing is when severely escalating addicts begin to find that “adult” porn – however depraved – is no longer a big enough of an arousal to satisfy their addiction’s needs so move closer and closer to illegal pornography. One addict wrote “I constantly feel paranoid as some sites have questionable videos of what look like underage girls”. Another wrote “I take myself to the edge of legal porn and then am enticed to 100% illegal material via links that come without warning. The crossover is done in a second. There is, bottom line, no safe way to look at porn. I have to completely disengage. It’s evil shit and makes me feel suicidal… I am a compromised human who has abandoned morality. We click in our own chains while weighing down our souls by feeding off the poisonous digital imagery of unspeakable misery of the most vulnerable in our world”.

One addict on the edge of legal and illegal porn wrote this “I’m paranoid I’ll open the wrong page and get arrested as I’m paranoid I’m being watched by Big Brother. I’m paranoid I’m turning into a dirty old man. It’s no fun anymore.”

Another wrote “I don’t feel safe with myself anymore.” Their fears are because once the crossover has taken place to child pornography, they feel they have truly become “monsters”. One man wrote “I feel like a monster by who I’ve become. I AM a monster”. Another wrote “This addiction is starting to frighten me more and more. Today I googled “12 to 15 year old lesbians”. I now feel sickened and can’t believe I searched for it. Urges that can put these sorts of fantasies in your brain are pure evil.” Another addict wrote “It’s getting worse. The other night I couldn’t sleep because I downloaded something illegal” whilst another said “I’ve escalated to child porn. If I don’t stop I will end up in suicide. I was abused as a child too… ”

One man wrote “I’m beginning to stare at teenagers. I try my hardest not to but it’s tearing me apart. God spare me from my worst. This disease is the pits.” Another addict wrote “I started using porn when I was 7 or 8 and am now 41 and it is destroying my life. It started off with your every day run of the mill porn but in the last 8-10 years it’s escalated. I find myself drawn more and more to younger girls to the point where I search out illegal child pornography images on the net. I live every day in hell, fear and self loathing. I feel like an out of control monster.”

Another addict wrote “during more difficult times in my life, I need much more hardcore porn to get the same effect and I’m finding more and more that illegal stuff is in my head. My self worth is almost non-existent. I’m 18. I also pull my hair out and ignore hunger. I watch porn daily.”

And then one day, addicts become desensitized to child pornography too and begin fantasizing about acting out with children. One man wrote “I’m beginning to get really strong urges to act out. Unless I get control of it soon I’ll end up in prison.” Another addict wrote “I role play in chat rooms where I talk about hitting young girls while they’re being raped. Every time I finish I’m always ashamed but then I dismiss it because it’s the Internet and there’s much worse stuff out there but I still feel weird. Daily I watch incest porn and violent sex porn like rape. I’m also attracted to 12-13 years olds now too. Not a soul knows about my dark secrets and all my friends think I’m completely normal.”

Professor Gail Dines, Professor of Sociology at Wheelock College in Boston, who has studied both pornography addicts and the pornography industry for decades and is author of the book “Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality”, interviewed a number of men in prison who had committed rape on children and found that all the men were habitual users of child pornography. Dr Dines said in an interview with Julie Bindel of The Guardian (2nd July 2010) “What they said to me was they got bored with “regular” porn and wanted something fresh. They were horrified at the idea of sex with a pre-pubescent child initially but within 6 months they had all raped a child”.

Whether addicts escalate to child pornography, rape of children, rape of sisters, mothers or whomever, one thing is clear… pornography addiction always progresses to acting out behavior in one form or another.

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Escalating Porn Addiction and Criminal Thoughts

Learn How to Overcome a Porn Addiction

Everyone knows that the Internet is filled with an abundance of easy-to-find pornography that can be easily downloaded or viewed 24 hours a day. There are many different types of pornography available on the Internet, everything from photos to videos, a little something for everyone. You don’t even need to pay money to access some of the hardcore porn websites on the Internet, because many people have become savvy to the filter technology that is used by many pay sites, making it easy to enter without too much effort.

Unfortunately, all this easy access to online pornography makes it extremely difficult for a person that has a porn addiction or the potential to become addicted to porn. It just makes it way to easy for a person with an Internet connection and a porn addiction to give into their temptations.

A lot of people wonder why people who suffer from a porn addiction don’t just quit looking.

After all, most porn addicts really want to quit. Think about it, it can damage your sex life, make your spouse or significant other very upset, leaving the addict with feelings of guilt and shame. Unfortunately, an addict can’t just stop. Most psychiatrists have accepted the fact that a person who suffers from a pornography addiction actually suffers from a mental disorder which can be effectively treated and cured.

You might wonder, what are the signs of porn addiction?

The true definition of a porn addiction is someone that has a difficult time limiting the amount of time that they spend looking at pornographic images – either photos or videos. Porn addiction is similar to other types of addiction disorders, so determining if someone truly suffers from this problem is quite simple.

General Characteristics of a Porn Addict:

* Inability to resist strong urges to view pornographic materials.
* A feeling of increased tension just prior to viewing pornographic materials.
* A feeling of relief or pleasure while looking at the pornographic materials.

Must also experience at least five of the following additional characteristics:

* Feels frequently preoccupied with getting access to pornography or being able to see pornography.
* Views pornographic materials on a frequent basis.
* Tries to stop or control viewing pornographic materials repeated.
* Spends a lot of time on the Internet to the point where it interferes with normal daily life.
* Pornography viewing habits interfere with daily life such as home, school, work or other obligations.
* Misses or gives up activities that are work-related, recreational or social in order to have more time to spend watching pornography.
* Recognizes that the habit is causing problems, but continuing it anyway.
* Feels the need to increase the frequency or intensity of viewing pornography in order to still feel the same effects.
* Feels irritable or restless is pornography access is not available or is denied in some way.

Perhaps the biggest question, however, is how to stop a porn addict from accessing pornography online.

The best way to talk with someone that you suspect may have a porn addiction is to speak with them openly about it. If the person is viewing pornography online, then there really is a lot that you can do to help. The first step, obviously, is to remove the temptation. You don’t necessarily have to remove the computer from the home or rip out the Internet connection from the wall.

Once the person admits that they have a problem with a porn addiction and asks for help in controlling the problem, the best way to do it is to remove their access to pornographic materials on the Internet. You can easily achieve this by installing a simple porn blocker or web filter so you can prevent websites that contain sex or other materials from being able to load on your computer. MyPornBlocker is one of the top web filter software solutions available and is easy to install onto your computer. Using a web filter program can be a very quick and easy way to help remove the immediate access to pornographic materials and a great first step to beating porn addiction.

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Learn How to Overcome a Porn Addiction

Indian Sex Psyche in a Digital Native Society

A 15-minute clip from Ina, a 1982 Malayalam film by popular director I.V. Sasi that deals with youthful lust and child marriage, is the most viewed Indian video on YouTube. It has more than 117 million views, and it appears to be the only Indian video to have more than a 100 million YouTube views.

Ina was a trendsetting movie which received many positive reviews during a time when even talking about sex was considered as a taboo in Kerala. Many parents of the 80’s were reluctant to send their kids to watch this movie as they thought it would corrupt their children. “My mom was an adherent moviegoer. She never stopped us from watching movies, but when Ina released, she was so unyielding to our requests and every time she came up with some kind of excuse. Only later in our life did we understand the real cause of her worry” says Jayasree who is now 50.

But what makes the movie so popular on the YouTube four decades after its release? Why are the other classics of Padmarajan and Bharathan not among the list of top ten most viewed video on YouTube? And the bigger question is why only 15 minutes not the whole movie getting the maximum hits? The answer is hidden inside the top ten Malayalam videos on YouTube; they are all Blue Films.

The case of other language videos is not different, they all feature similar keywords like Sex, Hot and Masala.

This reminds me of a case where three Ministers from Karnataka were expelled from the Legislative Assembly after the CCTV footage caught them watching pornography while the assembly proceedings were in full swing. Interestingly one of them handled the portfolio of Women and Child Development Ministry. When Google India released the report of the most searched personality of 2013 in last December, the Indo-Canadian former pornographic actress Sunny Leone was way ahead of Shah Rukh Kahan and Sachin Tendulkar. The Google trends report shows that the volume of search for the term “porn” has more than doubled since 2010 – 2013. These reports indicate that porn is freely available to anyone in India who has access to internet, regardless to their sex and age.

The writing on the wall is so clear; the number of people who are becoming addicts of pornographic videos and the increase in cases related to sexual abuse in India are in a proportionally high level.

New technology in the hands of the young, who uses it irresponsibly, could lead to a catastrophe. The new generation (which the techies call as the “digital natives”), are less guided by their parents and teachers (tagged as digital immigrants) as they are less informed about the new world of gadgetry. Teens have an inquisitive mind, which is controlled by peer pressure. But when pornography becomes their answer for sexual inquisitiveness, they become perverts. MMS Porn videos of students, circulating in schools in Kerala have been reported many times by the media. In some cases the victims have even went to the extent of committing suicide. According to a study conducted on 1000 students of both sex, 47% of high school boys and 29% of high school girls talk about porn in their classrooms.

What is more startling is the kind of videos the young prefer to watch. According to webmaster report of a website, the keywords searched for entering a porn site has changed over the last few years. A few years back people used short keywords like Rape, penetration, oral, anal, lesbian, gay etc. to make their porn search, but now the terms have become more violent and inhuman, with the user searching for what exactly he/she needs.

In India watching porn is considered legal but distributing or publishing pornographic content is considered as a crime under laws laid down in Sec.292 of the Indian Penal Code, which came about by Act 36 of 2000. According to Alexa Ranking of top 500 Indian Website 24 are porn sites. The legal machinery in India has failed to take action against these sites that even publish child pornography. A report of Optenet says, 40% of the web is made up of pornographic sites. As the WWW is open to all, including teens to consume porn materials, these sites are just a click away from reaching them. The search for these sites begins with simple googling of their peer doubts, which can be answered if they are given proper awareness in schools.

A few years back when the Government of Kerala introduced Adolescent Education Programme on the recommendation of UNESCO there was stiff opposition from the church saying the programme will lead to “sexual anarchy” in the state. The programme was intended to give awareness about sexuality and sexually transmitted diseases to class IX and class XI students of more than 4,000 high schools and higher secondary schools. Due to controversies the programme didn’t took off in Kerala. The same happened in the states of Karnataka, Gujarat, Maharashtra and Madhya Pradesh. But Tamil Nadu implemented this programme long back in 1997 and it has been proved successful.

India lacks Sex education; this is a fact which is overlooked during discussions on fighting rape and other cases of sexual abuse. Rather than fighting for a law to castrate the rapist or to hang him, the discussions should extend to a broader platform were in we can put a cap on the root so that further growth is restricted for ever. Moreover sex education in schools will also reduce the number of HIV cases in India. According to Government reports 40% of the total HIV affected people are under the age group of 15-29.

An Indian American News Website reported the trend of watching pornographic videos is synonymous to all states in India but higher in the state of Kerala, which boasts about the high literacy rate.

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Indian Sex Psyche in a Digital Native Society

The Real Costs Of Porn Addiction At Home

Our loved ones play a central and important role in our lives. They act as a support system to help us get through life’s most stressful moments, and share in the joy when we celebrate major milestones. Addictive behaviors can destabilize even the strongest of relationships, leading to feelings of despair, loneliness, and inadequacy. Those afflicted by addiction become consumed pursuing their addiction while losing empathy for the family that still cares for them.

But how does this chronic disorder directly impact those closest to the addict? Knowing how pornography influences the home environment is the first step towards seeking professional counseling for your partner.

1. Porn Impacts Feelings

Much like cocaine or heroin, pornography is a drug. Serving as a visual stimulant, the regular viewing of these images triggers the release of dopamine and other chemicals in the brain. Over time, the individual becomes physically and psychologically addicted, going through extreme withdrawal symptoms when this chronic desire isn’t fulfilled. The continual pursuit of satisfying sexual thoughts with pornographic materials becomes their only priority, completely ignoring all other obligations.

When the temporary high dissipates, the addict experiences pronounced withdrawal symptoms, which cause a rapid change in behavior. Those suffering from addiction become temperamental, accusatory, and extremely irritable with their partner. They may isolate themselves from the rest of the family, failing to recognize their responsibilities to job and loved ones. Over time, as the porn addiction becomes more pronounced, the addict’s brain begins to see this behavior as the norm, rather than the exception.

2. Porn Presents False Images

Our technology-driven world makes porn easily accessible to anyone with an internet connection. What may initially seem like a harmless way for a husband or son to fulfill their sexual desires can have much deeper implications. All pornographic materials present a misleading and false depiction of love, relationships, sex, and physical beauty. Repeated viewings impacts the addict’s brain, making the individual believe that these images are truthful.

Recent studies revealed that male sexual fantasies are heavily influenced by what they view in pornographic videos. Women are typically presented as sexual objects which exist solely for the man’s pleasure. Superficial expectations of female beauty are projected onto the addict’s partner, leading to feelings of inadequacy. Wives and girlfriends no longer feel physically attractive and become less and less of a priority in the addict’s life. The fantasy world promoted in pornography gradually becomes the only reality that the addict will accept.

3. Porn Destabilizes Healthy Partnerships

Creating a loving and stable relationship takes time, compatibility, and trust from both partners. These genuine feelings of love can create a strong bond that stands the test of time. But chronic porn addiction can seriously jeopardize the trust that couples have built with each other. As the addict increasingly spreads more time away from their partner, it leads to feelings of isolation and embarrassment. The addict will gradually become distant, moody, and unappreciative of the relationship as their attention shifts to fulfilling their own desires.

Scholarly research has shown that wives struggling with their husband’s porn addiction exhibit many of the symptoms associated with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Over-eating, extreme fatigue, and sudden outbursts of anger became common behaviors for that dominate the relationship. As the addict removes himself from a once healthy and supportive relationship, it leaves his partner feeling isolated and unwanted.

Depending on the level of addiction, this process could take anywhere from a few weeks to a few years. Oftentimes the female partner will ignore the seriousness of the addiction, in hopes that her spouse will stop on his own. Even if the husband admits to his disorder, much of the burden of the addiction is now passed on to his partner. Both partners may feel shame and struggle with deciding if and how to discuss these matters with family members and loves ones. Many couples grapple with the painful consideration of separation or divorce because of the emotional stress caused by the addiction. There are important and complicated issues that often require the specialized training of a sex addiction therapist.

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on The Real Costs Of Porn Addiction At Home